1,000 Word Essay Dedicated to Mr. Dog.

This goes to Mr. Dog’s greatness. I personally, would like to know just how far that actually recedes. In my opinion; since I’m writing this, it does count,
I feel his so called “greatness” goes no farther than a mouse thinking his soul mate is an Alley Cat.

What is there to say about Royalty? In fact, as of now, I have the ability to think of many things related to royalty. Since Mr. Dog enjoys and takes advantage
of the word “royalty,” I will now ask him to sternly and most certainly, consider all and everything that is about to be stated. They are the following:
Lazy, smelling, overweight, over-berated, inconsiderate, full of them selves, ugly, selfish, tempermental, conceited, and last but not least, most importantly,
they all seem to hold a drastic, inconceivable, unexplainable foot-fetish problem.

I believe I have given enough information, in great detail mind you, over the matter of Royalty. I shall now move on to the topic he, himself, relishes
the most: Meals.

I have thought up of many recipes that Mr. Dog will enjoy at these so-called “social” banquettes. His personal favorite is the Mouse Droppings Soup. First,
you must boil the blood of pheasants and humming birds. Then, you add in your spices such as basil leaves, taraggon, cloves, rabbits foot, poison ivy leaves,
and ravens claws. Once those are blended in quite well, (Must keep it boiling for at least fifteen minutes) you cut open the mouse, yank out its intestines
and throw them in. (For a big batch of soup, you need approximately two hundred mice. For a small batch for three people, you need approximately thirty-four
mice.) Once the intestines are cooked fully, turn down the burner and let it simmer for perhaps five extra minutes. Place in a bowl, style crackers around
the bowl, set on a serving platter and place it in front of those who are about to dissolve it.
For desert; Pigs-Eye. (Rarely found here, must be specially ordered.) Open a can of pigs-eye, stick in a big round dish, add three cups ground up hedgehogs,
a quarter cup sugar, five cups ice cream, and two teaspoons of Diarrhea Extract. Blend well and place into the freezer for twenty minutes. Serve after
Chilled.

        I feel that I’ve done enough on this specific topic. I shall now move on to the greatest and grandest topic of all! “How Much I worship Mr. Dog.”

Let me first add that I will put this in simplistic, sweet, perrogative, entrancing, and bold words as easily as I possibly can. Mr. Dog, I will, as my
word and for all these witnesses who read this, never, in my entire life, worship your grungy, sorry ass. I will, however, tell you that you can be a wonderful
person if you put your mind to it. I enjoy your sense of humor, since I believe that is what it is referred to these days, and it can be, at times, a great
pleasure to have you around.

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Author~
Miss-Steff
(this essay  contains a little over 1, 030 words).